求高人帮忙改一篇英语作文。more specific more better.more concise more better.

High schools do not adequately prepare students for college
We sometimes have these questions in our minds: Do I adapt to college life? Does high school education provide me enough experience to accept my new journey? A survey revealed from the National educational Department shows that almost 40% students are not satisfied with their college life and study. Some students say, the he main reason is that the lifestyle in high school they used to live is different from what they are having now. Rigid organization pattern, spoon-feeding, over parental attention contribute to the bottleneck of college life.
During the high school, many students failed to fall into a habit of self-study, which is the biggest part of college study. This kind of conversion might confuse students and land us into anxiety and helplessness. For example, when the first time I came to my college I was totally addicted to the sufficient time and I spent a lot of time for leisure. All the things I needed to do were just finishing my assignments from my instructors, which were far away from self-advancement. I did not have any sense of chewing the knowledge I had learnt at that time. As a result, I became one of the bottom students in my class. The frame of high school, that is to say spoon-feeding has institutionalized us for a long time. All the flows and processes have already been arranged by school authorities and teachers, which limits our ability of self-study. Therefore, just like me, it may be a challenge once someone starts his/her college life.
Anther thing that high school does not prepare well is the ability of communicating with people and dealing with the interpersonal relationship. For instance, one of my classmates complained to me that she had insomnia and required a very quite and dark circumstance for sleeping, while her roommate was accustomed to sleep very late. This kind of friction can easily happen during college, while seldom in high school. Since most of us lived at home and were companied by our parents in high school, we might do everything freely, which contributed to selfishness and misunderstanding .Based on this, we have disadvantages over communicating skills and interpersonal relationship.

第1个回答  2011-12-25
这是对你的文章一句句 点评。挺好的。看看合适不。

High schools do not adequately prepare students for college We sometimes have these questions in our minds: Do I adapt to college life? [教师点评]
[搭配统计] 动名搭配 prepare...student 在教材中出现过 384 次
SeeAlso: make student93,set_up student12,set student11,fix student7,ready student6
[搭配统计] 动名搭配 have...question 在教材中出现过 4991 次
SeeAlso: have doubt5626,take question1338,accept question40
[学习提示] 易混词汇: adapt, adjust, conform, accommodate, suit, fit 均有“使适合,适应”之意。
adapt: 指人或物在原有情况下作某些改变以适应新的环境或不同的条件,强调改变的目的和重要性。
adjust: 与adapt含义很接近,但adjust所改变的幅度要小一些,侧重过程,主要用于调整角度、高度、光点等。
conform: 多指与某模式或规则相符,也引申指改变习惯等以适应新的环境。
accommodate: 书面用词,指以外部条件标准改变自己或某事以求得适应,着重改变或调节的有利。
suit: 指适合要求,从而使人满意愉快。
fit: 含义广,指人或物适合或适应某一目的或用途。Does high school education provide me enough experience to accept my new journey? [教师点评]
[中式英语] accept...journey 在英语本族语中很少使用,建议检查
[搭配统计] 动名搭配 provide...experience 在教材中出现过 403 次
SeeAlso: offer experience354,allow experience8,leave experience7,render experience3
[学习提示] 易混词汇: accept, receive, admit, take 均有“接受,接纳”之意。
accept: 强调主动地或自愿地接受,或者说,经过考虑后同意接受。
receive: 着重仅仅接到或收到这一支轮船或事实,而不含采取主动或积极行动的意思。
admit: 作“接受”讲时,强调准许或批准。
take: 与receive同意,是receive的日常用法,侧重不带主观意愿地收下或接受。A survey revealed from the National educational Department shows that almost 40% students are not satisfied with their college life and study. [教师点评]
[中式英语] their college life and study 在英语本族语中很少使用,建议检查
[学习提示] 易混词汇: almost, nearly, about, approximately, around, roughly 均有“大约,差不多”之意。
almost: 指在程度上相差很小,差不多。
nearly: 与almost含义基本相同,侧重指数量、时间或空间上的接近。
about: 常可分almost和nearly换用,但about用于表示时间、数量的“大约”时,实际数量可能多也可能少。
approximately: 多用于书面语,指精确度接近某个标准以致误差可忽略不计。
around: 多用于非正式场合,常见于美国英语。
roughly: 指按精略估计,常代替about。Some students say, the he main reason is that the lifestyle in high school they used to live is different from what they are having now. [教师点评]
[中式英语] the he main reason 在英语本族语中很少使用,建议检查
[学习提示] 易混词汇: different, various, diverse 均含“不同的”之意。
different: 普通用词,强调事物间的区别或本质的不同。有时侧重对比,不着重差别。
various: 通常强调种类的数目。
diverse: 语气较强,指性质完全不同,着重显著的区别。Rigid organization pattern, spoon-feeding, over parental attention contribute to the bottleneck of college life. [教师点评]
[高分短语] contribute to意思是对某事有帮助,有贡献;有助于做某事…,是四六级经典短语。
Many retired people can still contribute to the society with their rich experience .
许多退休的老人还能用他们丰富的经验为社会作贡献。
[中式英语] rigid...organization 在英语本族语中很少使用,建议检查
[学习提示] 易混词汇: further, advance, promote, contribute, push 都含“促进,推进”之意。
further: 中性词,既可指对好事的促进、推进,又可指对坏事的助长。
advance: 通常指为加速某一进程或达到某个预期目的而给予有效的促进,强调作出有意识、决定性的努力。
promote: 指在某一进程的任何时期或阶段提供积极的帮助与支持。
contribute: 指能促进事物向前发展的因素,但这种因素并非决定性的。
push: 口语用词,通常指利用自己的活动或影响推进某事。During the high school, many students failed to fall into a habit of self-study, which is the biggest part of college study. [教师点评]
[推荐词汇] big使用频率偏高,可替换的词有major/significant或substantial等。

[推荐词汇] many使用频率偏高,可替换的词有an army of/a sea of或an ocean of。

[语法检查] a habit (Wrong article)
[学习提示] 易混词汇: collapse, fall 都含有“倒塌”之意。
collapse: 通常指房屋等突然倒塌。
fall: 一般指由于失去平衡等原因而倒塌,也可作引申用。This kind of conversion might confuse students and land us into anxiety and helplessness. [教师点评]
[搭配统计] 动名搭配 confuse...student 在教材中出现过 12 次
SeeAlso: throw student31,obscure student3,bedevil student3
[学习提示] 易混词汇: anxiety, worry, care, concern 均含“焦虑,关心”之意。
anxiety: 指对预料中的不祥之事的焦虑。
worry: 侧重对未知事态演变的忧虑。
care: 强调因出于责任感或顾虑等而产生的不安。
concern: 作“关心”用时,是indifference(冷漠)的反义词,侧重对他人健康、安全等的关心,也可暗示对困难、危险或失败等的忧虑。For example, when the first time I came to my college I was totally addicted to the sufficient time and I spent a lot of time for leisure. [教师点评]
[高分短语] addicted to意思是沉湎于…,是四六级经典短语。
She finally understood the disadvantages of being addicted to video games.
她终于了解沉迷电动的坏处。
[学习提示] 易混词汇: come, arrive, reach 均含“到达”之意。
come: 普通用词,含义广泛。强调到达的动作或进程,不侧重是否到达目的地。也可用于比喻意义。
arrive: 侧重到达目的地或达到某一目标。也可用作比喻。
reach: 既可指到达目的地,又可指到达途中的中间站。强调经过的周折或付出的努力。All the things I needed to do were just finishing my assignments from my instructors, which were far away from self-advancement. [教师点评]
[搭配统计] 动名搭配 finish...assignment 在教材中出现过 23 次
SeeAlso: complete assignment175,end assignment8,finish appointment6,stop assignment5,terminate assignment4
[学习提示] 易混词汇: complete, finish, end, close, conclude, terminate, accomplish 均含“结束,完成”之意。
complete: 侧重指完成预定的任务或使某事完善,补足缺少的部分等。
finish: 与complete基本同义,着重圆满地结束或完成已着手的事。
end: 最普通用词,着重事情的完成。也指某种活动因达到目的而自然结束或由于某种原因而突然中止。
close: 普通用词,着重行为的终止或结束,不强调其目的。
conclude: 正式用词,多指以某事或活动达到预期目的而告终。
terminate: 强调有一个空间和时间的限度,届时必须终止。书面语用词。
accomplish: 正式用词,强调一个过程的完成;也可指依靠努力达到一定目的,或取得一定的结果。I did not have any sense of chewing the knowledge I had learnt at that time. [教师点评]
[中式英语] chew...knowledge 在英语本族语中很少使用,建议检查
[学习提示] 易混词汇: bite, chew, gnaw, snap 均含有“咬,啃”之意。
bite: 指用牙齿钳住或切断,或咬一口。
chew: 指用牙磨碎。
gnaw: 指连续不断用齿咬。
snap: 指突然猛咬。
[搭配统计] 动名搭配 have...sense 在教材中出现过 9023 次
SeeAlso: have common_sense129,take sense118,have gumption100,accept sense8As a result, I became one of the bottom students in my class. [教师点评]
The frame of high school, that is to say spoon-feeding has institutionalized us for a long time. [教师点评]
All the flows and processes have already been arranged by school authorities and teachers, which limits our ability of self-study. [教师点评]
[点评] ability 常用不定式作定语,而不用 of +动名词,建议改为:ability to。
I do not doubt your ability to make scientific research.
我不怀疑你有科研工作的能力。
[中式英语] all the flows and processes 在英语本族语中很少使用,建议检查
[搭配统计] 动名搭配 limit...ability 在教材中出现过 1465 次
SeeAlso: limit power536,restrict ability532,determine ability21,circumscribe ability16,restrain ability13,define ability11,confine ability3
[学习提示] 易混词汇: ability, capacity, capability, genius, talent, competence, faculty, gift, aptitude 均可表示人的“能力,才能”之意。
ability: 普通用词,指人先天的或学来的各种能力。
capacity: 侧重指人的潜在能力,通常不指体力,多指才智,尤指接受与领悟能力。
capability: 多用于人,指胜任某项具体工作的能力,也指本身具有、尚未发挥的潜在能力。常与of或for连用。
genius: 语气最强,指天赋的高度才能与智力。
talent: 着重指人某方面具有可发展和倍养的突出天赋才能,但语意比genius弱。
competence: 正式用词,侧重指令人满意的业务能力与水平,达到胜任某项工作等的要求。
faculty: 指特殊的才能或智力。
gift: 着重个人的天赋的才能或在某方面的显著本领,常暗含不能用一般规律作解释的意味。
aptitude: 多指先天或后天习得的运用自如的能力,常暗示接受能力强,能迅速掌握一种学术训练或艺术技巧。Therefore, just like me, it may be a challenge once someone starts his/her college life. [教师点评]
[中式英语] his 在英语本族语中很少使用,建议检查
[学习提示] 易混词汇: begin, start, commence, initiate, inaugurate 均含有“开始”之意。
begin: 最常用词,含义广泛,其反义词是end,多用于行动、工作等的开始。
start: 在许多场合可与begin通用,但start侧重动作的起点。
commence: 可与begin换用,但commence系书面正式用词,语气庄重,特指有正式程序或一定仪式,或某种正式行动的“开始”。
initiate: 指创始或发起,侧重某过程的第一步,不考虑结束,强调起始。
inaugurate: 指正式而隆重的开始。Anther thing that high school does not prepare well is the ability of communicating with people and dealing with the interpersonal relationship. [教师点评]
[点评] 名词ability表示“体力活智力上的能力”,通常不与of连用,而跟不定式作定语,
[学习提示] 易混词汇: people, masses, crowd, throng, mob 均有“人们,人群”之意。
people: 最普通用词,不带任何色彩,泛指不确定数量的人们。
masses: 指群众或平民,在西方国家含贬义,在我国含褒义。
crowd: 本义指一大群紧紧聚集在一起的人群,现指群众整体,由个体结合的人群或大众。
through: 与crowd含义很接近,常可换用,但侧重指向前运动的群众。
mob: 含贬义,指乌合之众、暴民。For instance, one of my classmates complained to me that she had insomnia and required a very quite and dark circumstance for sleeping, while her roommate was accustomed to sleep very late. [教师点评]
[语法检查] 语法不规范,请确认
[点评] “睡得很晚”一般的表达是:go to sleep late 或 go to bed late,而不说 sleep very late。
I usually go to sleep very late.
我通常睡得很晚。
[推荐词汇] very使用频率偏高,可替换的词有extremely, exceedingly, remarkably, intensely。
[学习提示] 易混词汇: condition, state, status, situation, circumstance 均有“状况,情况”之意。
condition: 一般强调产生影响的原因或环境,复数形式指笼统的情况。
state: 普通用词,指人或物在环境、外表、心灵以及健康方面的状况,或指在某一阶段的状态或形式。
status: 指一个人在政治、社会、经济、法律上的地位或身份,暗含地位显要意味。也可用于指政治等事态的状况。
situation: 指明确具体的环境情况或处境。
circumstance: 多指周围的情况或某事发生时的情况。This kind of friction can easily happen during college, while seldom in high school. [教师点评]
[学习提示] 易混词汇: happen, occur, chance, take place 语都可表示“发生”之意。
happen: 普通用词,泛指一切客观事物或情况的发生,强调动作的偶然性。
occur: 较正式用词,可指意外地发生,也可指意料中的发生。
chance: 侧重事前无安排或无准备而发生的事,特指巧合。
take place: 多指通过人为安排的发生。Since most of us lived at home and were companied by our parents in high school, we might do everything freely, which contributed to selfishness and misunderstanding . [教师点评]
[拼写错误] companied 拼写错误,可替换选项为:companies, complained, accompanied
Based on this, we have disadvantages over communicating skills and interpersonal relationship. [教师点评]
[搭配统计] 动名搭配 have...disadvantage 在教材中出现过 280 次
SeeAlso: take disadvantage9
[学习提示] 易混词汇: skill, art, craft 均含“技艺,技巧”之意。
skill: 语气较强,指某人具有专门知识,精通业务,而且经验丰富又很熟悉。
art: 最普通用词,侧重指某人完成某项工作的能力或操作技巧。
craft: 和art同义,指手脚灵巧,有技术和技能。