[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler, Joey, Phoebe, and Monica are there.]
Monica: There's nothing to tell! He's just some guy I work with!
没什么好说的！他只不过是一个跟我一起工作的人罢了！
Joey: C'mon, you're going out with the guy! There's gotta be something wrong with him!
拜托，你都要跟这个人出去约会了！这个人肯定有问题！
going out with：约会
There's gotta be=there's going to be
Chandler: All right Joey, be nice. So does he have a hump? A hump and a hairpiece?
打住，Joey，友好点。所以他是个驼背吗？还是既驼背又带着假发？
Phoebe: Wait, does he eat chalk?
慢着，他吃粉笔吗？
(They all stare, bemused.)
Phoebe: Just, 'cause, I don't want her to go through what I went through with Carl- oh!
我只是不想重蹈我和Carl的覆辙！
go through:经历
Monica: Okay, everybody relax. This is not even a date. It's just two people going out to dinner and- not having sex.
各位放轻松。这甚至都不是一次约会。只不过是两个人一起出去吃个晚饭，并且不做爱。
Chandler: Sounds like a date to me.
听起来好像是我的约会。
[Time Lapse]
Chandler: Alright, so I'm back in high school, I'm standing in the middle of the cafeteria, and I realize I am totally naked.
记得中学时代的一个梦，我站在自助餐厅中央，突然发现自己全身赤裸着。
All: Oh, yeah. Had that dream.
对，做过那种梦。
Chandler: Then I look down, and I realize there's a phone... there.
然后我往下看，发现有部电话。。。在那儿
Joey: Instead of...?
而不是？
Chandler: That's right.
没错
Joey: Never had that dream.
从来没做过那种梦
Phoebe: No.
没有
Chandler: All of a sudden, the phone starts to ring. Now I don't know what to do, everybody starts looking at me.
突然电话响了。我不知道该怎么办，每个人都看着我。
Monica: And they weren't looking at you before?!
他们之前没看着你吗？
Chandler: Finally, I figure I'd better answer it, and it turns out it's my mother, which is very-very weird, because- she never calls me!
最后，我觉得我最好还是接这个电话，发现是我妈打来的，这十分奇怪，因为---我妈她从来不给我打电话！
[Time Lapse, Ross has entered.]
Ross: (mortified) Hi.
大家好。
Joey: This guy says hello, I wanna kill myself.
这家伙说“你好”的时候，我想自杀
Monica: Are you okay, sweetie?
你还好吗，亲爱的？
Ross: I just feel like someone reached down my throat, grabbed my small intestine, pulled it out of my mouth and tied it around my neck...
我只是感觉有个人伸手进我的喉咙，扯着我的小肠，从我的嘴里拉出来，再在我的脖子上打结。。。
intestine：小肠
Chandler: Cookie?
吃饼干吗?
Monica: (explaining to the others) Carol moved her stuff out today.
Carol今天把东西搬走了。
Joey: Ohh.
哦
Monica: (to Ross) Let me get you some coffee.
我给你拿杯咖啡
Ross: Thanks.
谢谢
Phoebe: Ooh! Oh! (She starts to pluck at the air just in front of Ross.)
哦吼
Ross: No, no don't! Stop cleansing my aura! No, just leave my aura alone, okay?
不，不要，不要清理我的灵气！不要管我的灵气好吗？
Phoebe: Fine! Be murky!
好吧，继续保持晦气吧！
Ross: I'll be fine, alright? Really, everyone. I hope she'll be very happy.
我会没事的，好吗?真的，各位，我希望她开心
Monica: No you don't.
不，你并不希望。
Ross: No I don't, to hell with her, she left me!
是的，我并不希望。去她妈的，他离开了我！
Joey: And you never knew she was a lesbian...
Ross: No!! Okay?! Why does everyone keep fixating on that? She didn't know, how should I know?
Chandler: Sometimes I wish I was a lesbian... (They all stare at him.) Did I say that out loud?
Ross: I told mom and dad last night, they seemed to take it pretty well.
Monica: Oh really, so that hysterical phone call I got from a woman at sobbing 3:00 A.M., "I'll never have grandchildren, I'll never have grandchildren." was what? A wrong number?
Ross: Sorry.
Joey: Alright Ross, look. You're feeling a lot of pain right now. You're angry. You're hurting. Can I tell you what the answer is?
(Ross gestures his consent.)
Joey: Strip joint! C'mon, you're single! Have some hormones!
Ross: I don't want to be single, okay? I just... I just- I just wanna be married again!
我并不想单身好吗？我只是---只是想再次结婚！
(Rachel enters in a wet wedding dress and starts to search the room.)
Chandler: And I just want a million dollars! (He extends his hand hopefully.)
而我只想要一百万美元！
Monica: Rachel?!
Rachel?
Rachel: Oh God Monica hi! Thank God! I just went to your building and you weren't there and then this guy with a big hammer said you might be here and you are, you are!
Waitress: Can I get you some coffee?
你想点杯咖啡吗？
Monica: (pointing at Rachel) De-caff. (to All) Okay, everybody, this is Rachel, another Lincoln High survivor. (to Rachel) This is everybody, this is Chandler, and Phoebe, and Joey, and- you remember my brother Ross
Rachel: Hi, sure!
我当然记得了！你好！
Ross: Hi
(They go to hug but Ross's umbrella opens. He sits back down defeated again. A moment of silence follows as Rachel sits and the others expect her to explain.)
Monica: So you wanna tell us now, or are we waiting for four wet bridesmaids?
那你现在可以告诉我们了吗？还是说我们在等着四位湿漉漉的伴娘？
bridesmaid:n.女傧相;伴娘
Monica: Who wasn't invited to the wedding.
还没有被邀请参加婚礼？
Rachel: Ooh, I was kinda hoping that wouldn't be an issue...
我认为这不是个问题？
[Scene: Monica's Apartment, everyone is there and watching a Spanish Soap on TV and are trying to figure out what is going on.]
Monica: Now I'm guessing that he bought her the big pipe organ, and she's really not happy about it.
Chandler: (imitating the characters) Tuna or egg salad? Decide!
Ross: (in a deep voice) I'll have whatever Christine is having.
Rachel: (on phone) Daddy, I just... I can't marry him! I'm sorry. I just don't love him. Well, it matters to me!
(The scene on TV has changed to show two women, one is holding her hair.)
Phoebe: If I let go of my hair, my head will fall off.
Joey: I say push her down the stairs.
Phoebe, Ross, Chandler, and Joey: Push her down the stairs! Push her down the stairs! Push her down the stairs!
(She is pushed down the stairs and everyone cheers.)
Rachel: C'mon Daddy, listen to me! It's like, it's like, all of my life, everyone has always told me, 'You're a shoe! You're a shoe, you're a shoe, you're a shoe!'. And today I just stopped and I said, 'What if I don't wanna be a shoe? What if I wanna be a- a purse, y'know? Or a- or a hat! No, I'm not saying I want you to buy me a hat, I'm saying I am a ha- It's a metaphor, Daddy!
Ross: You can see where he'd have trouble.
你能发现他哪里出问题了。
Rachel: Look Daddy, it's my life. Well maybe I'll just stay here with Monica.
爸爸，你听我说，这是我的生活。我可能会和Monica住在一起
Monica: Well, I guess we've established who's staying here with Monica...
我猜我们已经确定了要跟Monica住在一起的人了。。
Rachel: Well, maybe that's my decision. Well, maybe I don't need your money. Wait!! Wait, I said maybe!!
或许这就是我的决定。或许我不需要你的钱。等下！等下！我说的是或许。。。
[Time Lapse, Rachel is breating into a paper bag.]
Monica: Just breathe, breathe.. that's it. Just try to think of nice calm things...
吸气，吐气。。。这就对了。试着想想一些能让你冷静下来的好东西
Phoebe: (sings) Raindrops on roses and whiskers on kittens, (Rachel and Monica turn to look at her.) bluebells and sleighbells and- something with mittens... La la la la...something and noodles with string. These are a few...
玫瑰上的雨滴，猫的胡须，蓝风信子和雪橇，还有手套。。。啦啦啦啦还有一些面条
Rachel: I'm all better now.
我现在好多了
Phoebe: (grins and walks to the kitchen and says to Chandler and Joey.) I helped!
我帮上忙了
Monica: Okay, look, this is probably for the best, y'know? Independence. Taking control of your life. The whole, 'hat' thing.
听我说，这或许是最好的。独立。自己掌控生活，就像你刚刚说的“帽子”那件事情。
Joey: (comforting her) And hey, you need anything, you can always come to Joey. Me and Chandler live across the hall. And he's away a lot.
还有，如果你需要什么，你可以来找Joey。我和Chandler就住在对面。他平时一直都在外面
Monica: Joey, stop hitting on her! It's her wedding day!
Joey，不要再调戏她了。今天是她结婚的日子！
Joey: What, like there's a rule or something?
怎么了？难道这还有什么规定吗？
(The door buzzer sounds and Chandler gets it.)
Chandler: Please don't do that again, it's a horrible sound.
请你不要再这么做了，这个声音很难听
Paul: (over the intercom) It's, uh, it's Paul.
我是Paul
Monica: Oh God, is it 6:30? Buzz him in!
天啊，6:30了吗？开门让他进来
buzz sb. in.：开门
Joey: Who's Paul?
Paul是谁？
Ross: Paul the Wine Guy, Paul?
那个调酒的Paul吗？
Monica: Maybe.
也许是呢
Joey: Wait. Your 'not a real date' tonight is with Paul the Wine Guy?
等下，你今晚的“伪约会”是跟那个调酒师Paul？
Ross: He finally asked you out?
他最后还是约你了？
Monica: Yes!
对
Chandler: Ooh, this is a Dear Diary moment.
噢，这真是个可以载入史册的时刻
Monica: Rach, wait, I can cancel...
小秋秋，我可以取消。。。
Rachel: Please, no, go, that'd be fine!
没事，你去吧。我没事的。
Monica: (to Ross) Are, are you okay? I mean, do you want me to stay?
你呢？你还好吗？我是想问，你想让我留下来陪你吗？
Ross: (choked voice) That'd be good...
那样的话再好不过了
Monica: (horrified) Really?
真的吗？
Ross: (normal voice) No, go on! It's Paul the Wine Guy!
骗你的，去吧，这可是那个调酒的小伙子---Paul!
Phoebe: What does that mean? Does he sell it, drink it, or just complain a lot? (Chandler doesn't know.)
那是什么意思？他买酒，喝酒还是抱怨一大堆？
(There's a knock on the door and it's Paul.)
Monica: Hi, come in! Paul, this is.. (They are all lined up next to the door.)... everybody, everybody, this is Paul.
进来吧，Paul，这是大家。各位，这位是Paul
All: Hey! Paul! Hi! The Wine Guy! Hey!
你好，Paul，调酒师哦
Chandler: I'm sorry, I didn't catch your name. Paul, was it?
抱歉，我没听清你的名字，Paul对吗？
Monica: Okay, umm-umm, I'll just--I'll be right back, I just gotta go ah, go ah...
呃呃，我马上回来，我只是去。。去。。
Ross: A wandering?
散步？
Monica: Change! Okay, sit down. (Shows Paul in) Two seconds.
换衣服。你坐着，等我一会儿
Phoebe: Ooh, I just pulled out four eyelashes. That can't be good.
噢，我刚刚扯掉了四根眼睫毛，这不是什么好兆头
(Monica goes to change.)
Joey: Hey, Paul!
你好，Paul
Paul: Yeah?
怎么了？
Joey: Here's a little tip, she really likes it when you rub her neck in the same spot over and over and over again until it starts to get a little red.
告诉你一条小技巧。Monica真的很喜欢别人在她脖子的同一个部位反复抚摸直到那个地方变得有点点红
Monica: (yelling from the bedroom) Shut up, Joey!
闭嘴，Joey
Ross: So Rachel, what're you, uh... what're you up to tonight?
所以，Rachel，你今天。。。你今天打算干吗？
What are you up to=what will u do
Rachel: Well, I was kinda supposed to be headed for Aruba on my honeymoon, so nothing!
本来是应该在去Aruba度蜜月的路上，所以我晚上没啥可干的
Ross: Right, you're not even getting your honeymoon, God.. No, no, although, Aruba, this time of year... talk about your- (thinks) -big lizards... Anyway, if you don't feel like being alone tonight, Joey and Chandler are coming over to help me put together my new furniture.
是啊，你都没办法度蜜月了。不过Aruba这个时候，你可以谈论下大蜥蜴。不管怎么说，如果你今晚不想孤单寂寞的话，Joey和Chandler要到我家里来帮我组装新家具
Chandler: (deadpan) Yes, and we're very excited about it.
没错，我们对此都十分兴奋
Rachel: Well actually thanks, but I think I'm just gonna hang out here tonight. It's been kinda a long day.
真的很感谢，但我今晚还是待在这里吧，今天事情太多了
Ross: Okay, sure.
当然可以了
Joey: Hey Pheebs, you wanna help?
小菲菲，你想来帮忙吗？
Phoebe: Oh, I wish I could, but I don't want to.
我希望我能来帮忙，但我并不想去
