中年危机有多大？

Question

如题所述

Answer 1

When I became a volunteer EMT, my friends were puzzled. They knew me to be deeply

当我成为一名急救员自愿者的时候，我的朋友都迷惑不解。他们深知道我对病人和即

terrified of sick and dying people. If there was an accident on the road, I tucked my head in my

将垂死的人尤为恐惧。如果路上发生车祸，我会用捂着眼睛害怕见那血腥的场面。

hands to avoid seeing blood or broken glass.

My husband and I had been married 30 years. We loved to travel, read and write. But at age

我和我的丈夫结婚三十年了，我们喜欢旅游，读书，写作。但在我52岁的时候

52, I felt stuck in a midlife funk, cut off from others. Passing the local firehouse one day, I saw a

我感觉自己陷入了中年恐惧症，并且鲜与朋友联系。有一天，当经过当地的消防站的时候看到急

sign: “Volunteers wanted: Fire/EMT.” The EMT part pointed to everything cowardly in me-my f

救员志愿者的招聘广告。急救员直击到我的懦弱之处----我最怕死亡和疾病。也许如果我能

ear of death and disease. Maybe I could help others if I did this and could also save myself by

通过帮助他人让我更好的正视自己内心的真正的恐惧。

facing what scared me most.

As time goes by, I was able to work through my fears. Now I understand that the closest I

随着时间的流逝，我一直能克服恐惧而工作。现在我终于能感受到上帝离我最近的时刻就是

have ever felt to God is in the back of an ambulance. When I rush out to help sick strangers, I am

一直尾随在救护车之后。当我冲出救护求助陌生病人时。我觉得此刻超越了本身的我。

part of something larger than myself. Sometimes I truly connect with someone who I would never

有时我很少和那些从未谋面的陌生人真诚的接触过，除了内莉。

have met otherwise-as I did with Nellie.

One midnight, the AIDS hospice needed help. A colleague and I were shown to a bedroom.

一天晚上，AIDS救助站需要援助。我和另一个同事被带到一房间。那里躺在着一个

Lying there was a thin black woman with wild hair. When I was given a printout of her medical

又黑又瘦头发凌乱的女人。当我看到她打印出来病历时，我想这个女人恐怕至少应该死上十

history, I thought., this lady should be dead over ten times. She had AIDS, hepatitis and TB. She

次。她患有爱滋，肝炎还有肺结核。大脑做过手术 ，今天晚上是病情发作了。

had brain surgery. Tonight she had a seizure.

“Hello, I’m Clarissa, are you in pain?” I asked. She replied by cursing at me. I didn’t take offense.，你好，我是克拉丽沙。你很痛苦吗？我问到. 她诅咒回复我。我并没有生气

When I rode alone with her in the back of the ambulance as another EMT drove, I reread the

当 我和她坐在救护车的后半部分由另一名急救人员驾驶救护车时我又看了一遍她的病历

printout. Nellie was 33 years old. No previous address. No family members. No next of kin. Her

：内莉33岁，没有家庭地址，没有家庭成员，没有亲戚朋友。她的整个人生就

whole life as presented here was just a list of medicines, symptoms and illnesses. One line caught

是展现在面前的药品清单，症状和疾病史。有一行引起我的注意：爱好

my attention: Hobbies. Nellie’s hobbies were sewing and gospel singing. I could not sew, but I

loved gospel music
内莉爱好缝纫和福音歌曲。我不会缝纫，但我也喜欢福音音乐。

“Nellie, it says here that you like gospel music,” I asked. I expected another curse, but it

内莉，上面说你很喜欢福音音乐”我问到。我想她会再次诅咒我。但是没有。

didn’t come. “I really like Shirley Caesar,” I continued, thinking of the singer’s heartbreaking song

我只喜欢凯莎，我说到。想到这个歌手关于一个母亲对他忘恩负义的儿子的爱时，所唱歌曲字字

about a mother’s love for her ungrateful son, pouring her soul into every word.

令人伤心

Suddenly Nellie’s eyes moved back and forth. “I like her too,” Nellie said weakly. I was

突然，内莉的眼睛移向前方。我也喜欢她。内莉说微弱的说到。我被惊呆了她还能

stunned she could speak. I started naming other gospel singers. With each one, Nellie nodded back, 能说话。我又说了好几个神音歌手。内莉表示点点头。

and I saw her try to smile. I was not a singer, but I decided to pretend that I was. It was not

我看到她试图微笑。我不是个歌手，此时此刻，我很想我是。不可想象，内莉可能随时在

unthinkable that Nellie might die during this ride to the hospital, that I would be the last face she

路上去世。我是她最后一个见的人。她的语气显的吃力。我想说些相对那些“你哪里痛呀“更有

ever saw, the last voice she ever heard. I wanted to say something meaningful to her, something 意义的话。我握着她的手开始唱歌。
other than “Where does it hurt?” So I started singing, and I held Nellie’s hand as I sang.

We reached the hospital, and she was wheeled to one of the ER rooms. I touched her thin

我们到了医院，她被推到急救室。我拍了拍她瘦弱的肩膀，她看着我，“照顾好自己”

shoulder. “Nellie,” I said. She fixed her eyes on me. “Take care of yourself.” She gave me one

味深长的看了我一眼，转过脸去。

long last look, and then turned her face to the wall.

When I climbed back into the ambulance, there was no more trace of Nellie. The driver had

当我重新回到救护车上，那里已经没有内莉的踪影。司机正在清洁和消毒。我们走吧

cleaned and sanitized everything. “Let’s go,” I told him. As the ambulance pulled out, I felt like

我说道。救护车驶出医院。我感觉自己仿佛哭了，但是我的眼睛里没有泪水。就像内莉一样。

crying. But my eyes remained dry, like Nellie’s. Hobbies: sewing and gospel music, I thought as

。当我们在黑夜中驶向家里的路上，我又想起了她的兴趣爱好：缝纫，福音音乐。

we glided in the darkness of the night toward home.