英语雅思小作文,柱状图的书写,写了中间两端,写的有问题吗?怎么修改一下比较好?谢谢!急求!

如题所述

句型词汇过于单一 可以通过描述性表达和主动被动的转换来提升整体感觉
The bar chart compares the numbers of accidents and injuries ( 100 million passenger miles travelled) caused by five different transportation methods in 2002.
第一点就是对于问题的paraphrase, 所以尽量把那些量词放到括号里。而且一定要用同义词转换!
It can be seen that commuter roil is the safest way to travel with, with only 20 incidents and 17 injuries being reported. However, demons response seems to be the most dangerous transportation as 173 people were injured out of 225 incidents. The numbers of crash caused by heavy roil, light roil and bus were fairly close, with 51, 76 and 76 being recorded. Nonetheless, it is worth to mention that only 39 light roil passengers were hurt out of 76 accidents and the ratio was much lower compared with all other commuting tools.
描述的时候不一定非得说数字,显得很单一。提到车祸等问题,自然就可以联想到哪种是比较安全的交通工具。然后一定要描述出图像所给的几个关键特征。1.谁最安全 2.谁最危险 3.谁有一定的accident ratio 但是injury ratio较低
Overall, demons response was the most problematic transportation in 2002 and its accident number was higher than the sum of other four ones
总结性描述 图像最直观特征
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