急!!!帮我看看这篇英语文章有什么要改的

Self Introduction
My name is Fang Lurongzi. I’m a 14-year-old girl who is from No.4 Middle School of Anqing.
I have good study habits and I love thinking and analyzing problems. So I took part in a lot of contests and have gotten many awards.
I love my class and get along well with other schoolmates. In my teachers’ eyes, I’m a good student; in my classmates’ eyes, I’m a good friend; in my parents’ eyes, I’m a good kid.
Compared with other children, I’m more independent. Because my parents don’t work in Anqing, I started to live in a host family when I was 8. Ordinarily, I can not only take good care of myself, but also help my parents do some chores, like washing the dishes, sweeping the floor and so on.
I have many hobbies. I started to learn to play the erhu since I was 4.I have also learned handwriting, dancing, table tennis and I-go .I always travel during my holidays. So I have been to many beautiful and famous cities.
In my spare time, I’d like to do some social activities. I have been to the Old people’s Home to chat with the old.I am also a member in Anqing’s English Cornor.However, I am the youngest one.
I am interested in knowing this colorful world;
I am confident to face my bright future.
Optimistic, independent, confident and hard-working. This is me —— a growing happy girl.
快快快……明天就要

Self Introduction
My name is Fang Lurongzi, a 14-year-old girl from No.4 Middle School of Anqing.
I have formed good study habits and I love thinking and analyzing problems. So I took part in a lot of contests and have gotten many awards.
I love my class and get along well with other schoolmates. In my teachers'eyes, I'm a good student; in my classmates'eyes, I'm a good friend; in my parents'eyes, I'm a good kid.
Compared with other children, I'm more independent. Because my parents don't work in Anqing, I started to live in a host family when I was 8. Ordinarily, I not only take good care of myself, but also help my parents do some chores, like washing the dishes, sweeping the floor and so on.
I have many hobbies. I started to learn to play erhu since I was 4. I have also learned handwriting, dancing, table tennis and I-go. I always travel during my holidays. So I have been to many beautiful and famous cities.
In my spare time, I like taking part in social activities. I have been to the Nursing Home to chat with the old. I am also the youngest member of Anqing's English Cornor.
I am interested in knowing this colorful world and I am confident about my future.
Optimistic, independent, confident and hard-working. This is me —— a growing happy girl.

改了一些细节的东西,你看看,写的不错。
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第1个回答  2010-07-09
支持一下,都不错。
姓名4个字呀?

分析问题,建议用Solving problem, 因为已经有思考了。

参考竞赛,建议用 Have taken part
kid没有问题,可能用Gal也好。

敬老院用 beadhouse 或Rest home 会不会更好些。
老人要用 the elders