请问我的英语作文有什么要更改的地方吗（题目是中间那道，高中的）？
Have you ever imagined what the world will look like if we don't even prevent the world we are living in from being polluted by endless traffic in major areas of the metropolises? When you are walking on a busy street, your wide range of vision will be blocked by haze, which will cause fatal harm to your body and even lead to terrible traffic accidents when someone is driving his (or her) car surrounded by it. Therefore, if we haven't produced new products to solve these headache problems when they become serious, we'll have a greater chance of being influenced by them themselves.
The benefit that we'll get from the actions we take is that if we go to school by bike as much as possible, our health can definitely be improved, so why don't you try it?
In short, the way we take action to protect the environment of our Mother Earth is the way we create opportunities for us to be survived from the deadly habits that we have been doing, so let's start taking action now.
你的英文写作可能需要修改一些地方来改进语法和清晰度。这里有几个建议，希望能帮助你修改你的写作：
考虑使用主语-动词一致。确保句子中的动词与主语的数（单数或复数）保持一致。例如，"If we haven't produced new products to solve these headache problems when they become serious" 应该修改为 "If we haven't produced new products to solve these headache problems when it becomes serious."
使用并列结构。列出物品或思想时，确保为每个项目使用相同的语法结构。例如，"if we go to school by bike as much as possible, our health can definitely be improved" 应修改为 "if we go to school by bike as much as possible, we can definitely improve our health."
使用一致的动词时态。在写作中使用动词时态保持一致非常重要。例如，"the way we take action to protect the environment" 应修改为 "the way we are taking action to protect the environment."
考虑使用过渡词和短语。这些词和短语可以帮助你的思路连接起来，使你的写作更加流畅。例如，"however," "in addition," "furthermore," 和 "as a result."
再给一个我针对此题的作答，希望有参考意义。
Dear fellow students,
As you know, our city has been experiencing frequent instances of haze and air pollution. This is not only detrimental to the environment, but also poses serious risks to our health. It is therefore essential that we take action to protect the environment and reduce pollution.
One simple way that we can make a difference is by choosing green modes of transportation, such as biking, for our daily commute to school. Not only does biking reduce the amount of pollution caused by car emissions, it also has numerous personal benefits. Biking can improve our physical fitness, reduce stress, and save us money on gas.
Therefore, I am writing to urge you to consider biking to school as much as possible. By making this small change in our daily routines, we can make a significant contribution to protecting the environment and improving our own health. Let's work together to create a cleaner and healthier future for ourselves and future generations.
Sincerely,
Li Hua
例如：
"the world we are living in" 可以简化为 "our world"
"major areas of the metropolises" 可以简化为 "major cities"
"when someone is driving his (or her) car surrounded by it" 可以简化为 "when driving in haze"
此外，在最后一句话中，"taking action" 可以改为 "taking action now" 或者 "starting to take action" 会更好。
最后，在文章中提到了 "health can definitely be improved"，但是并没有提到具体的方法。可以再加上一句，例如："By cycling to school, we can not only improve our health, but also reduce air pollution and traffic congestion."本回答被提问者采纳